For Tony Furtado, fatherhood has been a journey marked by custody battles, unemployment and homelessness.

Now, he is celebrating a positive milestone. Last week, Furtado graduated from a 12-week parenting course at the Department of Children and Families in Salem.

In the Responsible Fathers Program, he and a group of men met weekly, discussing their lives and focusing on ways to give affection, respect and guidance to their children and the mothers of their children.

"I learned that my role is being there for them, listening, playing," said Furtado, a 29-year-old father of four. "You've basically got to teach them how to do a lot of things."

Parenting is stressful even in the most ideal situations. In trying circumstances, tensions can spill over, which is something Furtado said the men in the group learn to cope with.

"We talk about the idea that there are no perfect fathers out there, and we all have something to learn," said Barry Stallsmith, who co-facilitated the recent class in Salem for Catholic Charities, which partners with the state to offer the program.

"We tell them, you can benefit from this and, ultimately, your children can benefit from this," said Stallsmith, a veteran facilitator. "We've all got something we can improve on."

The program reflects an increased focus at the state Department of Children and Families — and nationwide — to provide more support to fathers, according to Jack Doyle, director of the Department of Children and Families' North Shore Areas.

"Our agency has done a great job of beginning to recognize the importance of working with dads," Doyle said. "I don't think it was always a strength."

Over the past few years, a number of regional DCF offices have co-facilitated fathering classes, said Doyle, who attended last week's graduation ceremony for the department's inaugural class in Salem.

"It can be a mechanism to change relationships with their ex-wives or partners and sort of raise their kids together, however that's going to be," Doyle said. "Statistics say that all kids who have stronger connections with both their parents have better outcomes."

Tony's journey

Furtado has two children from his first marriage and two children with his wife, Christina Furtado.

When his two older children were little, Furtado worked two jobs and was barely around. He regrets that he didn't spend more time developing relationships with them.

"The two oldest ones, I wasn't there a lot of their lives," Furtado said of Ethan, 10, and Trinity, 8.

After he and their mother split, he fought for and eventually attained full custody. Meanwhile, he and Christina had Jocelyn, now 4, and Isaiah, who is 20 months.

"Now I have the baby and the youngest daughter I get to try all over with," said Tony, who grew up in Peabody.

But in the last two years, the family endured more turmoil.

"When I was pregnant with my little one, I had to quit my job," said Christina, 26, "and you need two people working these days."

Then last winter, Tony said, he was fired from his job insulating homes because he called out sick to take his son to the hospital. (His two older children have a range of medical and behavioral conditions.)

"I'm the legal guardian of the older two, and I have to take them into their appointments and to doctors," he said. "For a while, I was looking for jobs with mother's hours and (people) laughed at me."

Unable to afford housing, the family stayed at Tony's mother's house until the cramped conditions became unbearable. Then they entered the state shelter system, which landed them in a Saugus motel for 10 months where they lived on microwaved food. They were placed in a temporary apartment in Salem earlier this spring.

In November, Christina found work, and she is now manager of a Piercing Pagoda stall at the mall, while Tony recently found part-time employment cleaning floors at Best Buy in the morning.

Christina Furtado is at work almost every day, so a lot of the parenting falls on her husband. She says she has noticed slight changes since he took the parenting course.

"When he tells me, 'Trinity was bad today, she misbehaved,' you can just tell in the tone he's not as angry," Christina said. "And he does play with them a lot."

"Basically, I learned how to keep a positive mind when the kids are all ganging up," Tony said, "and not to lose my temper as much."

"Four kids is a lot — any kids is a lot," Christina continued. "You need help along the way, you need coaching."

Reaching out to dads

A year ago, on the occasion of Father's Day, President Obama announced a national Fatherhood and Mentoring Initiative to expand on local fatherhood and family-strengthening programs and develop a re-entry program for fathers leaving the criminal justice system.

"We've been part of a much larger state, regional and national movement," said Dick Muzzy, director of clinical services for Catholic Charities North.

In 1993, Catholic Charities launched its Fathers Support Services and began running groups and reaching out to dads, according to Muzzy.

"Nobody was really reaching out to the fathers," he said, "but there were lots of services for young moms."

Roughly three years ago, Catholic Charities began partnering with the Massachusetts Department of Children and Families, which now refers men to the Responsible Fathers Program, the class Furtado took.

The course is put on many of the men's DCF service plans so they can get increased visitation or unification with their children.

"The idea is to assist men to become responsible fathers for their kids," Muzzy said, "and to understand the importance of a father's presence and a father's involvement in the lives of their children."

Stallsmith said the classes are geared to make the men feel welcome and to build camaraderie.

"We have a lot of fun in the class," Furtado said. "You can be like yourself, and it's no problem."

They serve a meal at each meeting that the men eat together with the facilitators.

"A lot of guys come in arms crossed, body language all closed up," Stallsmith said. "Our job is kind of to sell them on the idea that they and their children can benefit from the program. ... Children have a right to have a positive, involved father in their lives."

The program is based on "five principles of responsible fatherhood" that encompass respect, guidance and other tenets of parenting. Stallsmith said he also encourages fathers to get involved in their communities.

Stallsmith has seen parenting classes affect men in different ways.

"Some guys make major turnarounds — the light goes on, and there's an epiphany," Stallsmith said. "But any little change is worth it. Maybe they just stop swearing in front of their kids."

Stallsmith believes the course is a good jumping-off point.

"I'm not so naive to think 12 weeks in a group is going to turn around a lifetime, but it can begin the process," he said.

Lifestyles Editor Amanda McGregor can be reached at 978-338-2665, amcgregor@salemnews.com and on Twitter @sn_ashorething and @AmandaSalemNews.

Five Principles of Responsible Fatherhood

In the fatherhood group, men learn:

As a father, it is my responsibility to give affection to my children.

As a father, it is my responsibility to give gentle guidance to my children.

As a father, it is my responsibility to give financial support to my children and to the mother of my children.

As a father, it is my responsibility to demonstrate respect at all times to the mother of my children and to my children.

As a father, it is my responsibility to set a proud example for my children by living within the law and without the taint of alcohol or drug abuse.