:Girl Needing Advice
:Dear Girl: Believe it or not, your parents may need as much or more help than you do. Although you have told them you are transgender, they do not appear to fully grasp that gender identity and sexual orientation are two different things.
A terrific educational resource for them would be PFLAG. It’s an organization made up of parents, families, friends and straight allies united with gay, bisexual and transgender people. Part of their mission is education, and there are chapters in all 50 states. Contact them at www.pflag.org. Their literature will help your parents understand.
:Dear Abby: I am a man in my 40s. My girlfriend and I have known each other for four years, but have grown much closer over the past few months. She’s divorced with no kids.
I have asked her to stop going to a gym that she regularly visits. In the past, she had sex with a guy from there. He no longer goes there, but she craves that environment. She says she goes to keep in shape. I say she made a name for herself there and requested she go to another gym. What do you think?
:Jeff in New Jersey
:Dear Jeff: “Made a name for herself”? That’s an antiquated phrase I haven’t heard in a while. Because you asked, I will offer a few thoughts:
The individual this lady had the fling with is long gone. I doubt at this point whether anyone at that gym cares or remembers. If the “atmosphere” has you worried, go with her, and I’m sure you will quickly realize that the members go there to tone up rather than hook up.
A word of advice: The harder you try to control your girlfriend, the further you’ll drive her away, so stop acting like a dumbbell.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.