SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

July 2, 2013

Dear Abby: Husband wanting good loving should be good lover himself

(Continued)

Ask Mike how he treats his wife on a daily basis; whether he has habits or hygiene that are off-putting; whether he indulges in pornography; whether he has taken care of his health and appearance. After 17 years, is he a good lover?

Many women are as dissatisfied with their sex lives as their complaining husbands are. Anyone who wants to have a satisfying sex partner needs to BE one.

:Over 50 And Still Interested

:Dear Abby: A woman’s sex drive is a complex issue that in my experience has nothing to do with her hormone levels. A decline can occur at any age even though she has no obvious medical issues. The most common causes are stress, unresolved and deeply buried sexual issues, concern about body image, empty-nest syndrome, distraction with family problems, worry over work or finances, and the side effects of medications such as antidepressants.

:San Diego Gynecologist

:Dear Abby: When sex was mind-blowing for me was when I felt the most loved by my husband. The way he treats me has changed over the years, and lately I’m so turned off that I can no longer physically respond to him. Often, a woman loses interest in sex because her partner makes her feel like he has lost interest in HER.

At the beginning of a relationship, both people do special things for each other to show their affection. These are the things women need. To continue feeling loved, each woman has different emotional needs that can stay the same or evolve as life’s circumstances change.

The bottom line is, if men want their wives to want them physically, they need to learn what their wives want emotionally — and then do a lot of it. Pay attention to her, communicate, make her a priority. I’m amazed that so many men don’t understand how enormous the payoff would be if they made the effort to make their wives feel they are still special.

:Outta Here Soon

■■■

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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