When it comes to high school graduation plans, no parent wants to be this year's "Prom Grinch." But most parents worry about safety. For some, safety means coming up with some creative solutions to prevent drinking and driving - from paying for a limousine to hosting a house party where car keys are confiscated at the door.
"So long as they're not driving" goes the perennial logic. However, while vehicular safety is a crucial and often life-saving part of planning, there's much more to protecting the well-being of your soon-to-be graduate.
We are seeing more area teenagers and young adults in treatment for abusing combinations of prescription, over-the-counter medications, household products, marijuana and alcohol. Many are admitted after one or more overdoses, simply because they did not know how their bodies would react to new substances or how long each substance stays in their system.
Emergency departments across the country treat 30,000 youngsters a year for alcohol overdoses. Closer to home, the Mass. Department of Public Health cites opiate overdoses as surpassing traffic accidents as a cause of death.
Even in the best kid, alcohol (which is a drug and illegal for anyone under 21) impairs judgment around other risky behaviors, including using other drugs, having unprotected sex, property damage and getting into a car with someone who has been drinking. Also, if your child is legitimately taking prescribed or over-the-counter medications - including Tylenol, anti-depressants or pain medications - he should know how these medications accelerate the effects of alcohol.
Back to that all-important legal issue. Family attitudes, beliefs and history around alcohol influence our children's habits. By telling our college- or job-bound adolescent that it's sometimes OK to break the law, we send a confusing and dangerous message. Also, if there's a history of alcoholism in your family, your children need to know they are genetically at risk for problem drinking. In a recent study by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 95 percent of adults with alcohol dependence began drinking in their teens.
If you decide to host a prom night party, review the Massachusetts Social Host Responsibility Law with your child. It makes you legally responsible for any underage drinking on your property - even if it's not your child or you have not supplied the alcohol. The Social Host Law was enacted in 2000 in response to a fatal car accident in which an 18-year old, returning from a graduation party, drove his car into a tree. Draw up a workable agreement together, including party start and end times and how to deal with gate-crashers or drinkers. Let your teen know that you will be home all evening.
"So long as they're not driving" goes the perennial logic. However, while vehicular safety is a crucial and often life-saving part of planning, there's much more to protecting the well-being of your soon-to-be graduate.
We are seeing more area teenagers and young adults in treatment for abusing combinations of prescription, over-the-counter medications, household products, marijuana and alcohol. Many are admitted after one or more overdoses, simply because they did not know how their bodies would react to new substances or how long each substance stays in their system.
Emergency departments across the country treat 30,000 youngsters a year for alcohol overdoses. Closer to home, the Mass. Department of Public Health cites opiate overdoses as surpassing traffic accidents as a cause of death.
Even in the best kid, alcohol (which is a drug and illegal for anyone under 21) impairs judgment around other risky behaviors, including using other drugs, having unprotected sex, property damage and getting into a car with someone who has been drinking. Also, if your child is legitimately taking prescribed or over-the-counter medications - including Tylenol, anti-depressants or pain medications - he should know how these medications accelerate the effects of alcohol.
Back to that all-important legal issue. Family attitudes, beliefs and history around alcohol influence our children's habits. By telling our college- or job-bound adolescent that it's sometimes OK to break the law, we send a confusing and dangerous message. Also, if there's a history of alcoholism in your family, your children need to know they are genetically at risk for problem drinking. In a recent study by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 95 percent of adults with alcohol dependence began drinking in their teens.
If you decide to host a prom night party, review the Massachusetts Social Host Responsibility Law with your child. It makes you legally responsible for any underage drinking on your property - even if it's not your child or you have not supplied the alcohol. The Social Host Law was enacted in 2000 in response to a fatal car accident in which an 18-year old, returning from a graduation party, drove his car into a tree. Draw up a workable agreement together, including party start and end times and how to deal with gate-crashers or drinkers. Let your teen know that you will be home all evening.
If the party's at someone else's house, ask about parental supervision, the availability of alcohol and the transportation arrangements.
If the prom party is in a hotel, get to know the chaperone or consider being the chaperone yourself. Most facilities will not rent to underage guests without a parent's or adult's credit card. If it's your credit card, you are liable for all damages if that party gets out of hand.
Prom night doesn't have to become a household tug of war. Remind your child how proud you are of him and this rite of passage in his life. Keep a sense of anticipation and celebration. Be frank with your child about your teen years and share regrets that you have. Begin the discussions well before the prom and graduation. And help your child keep a sense of perspective, reminding them that it's just one night and not the be-all and end-all of their social status.
The prom can be a launching point for broader and crucial conversations around drinking, peer pressure and overall health and sense of self. Listen to your teen's wishes and fears. Be clear and consistent in your expectations.
No parent wants to be a spoil sport, but the savvy parent will take the necessary steps and have the necessary conversations to make prom night truly memorable - and safe.
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Kevin P. Norton is president and chief executive officer of CAB Health & Recovery Services, Inc., a nonprofit treatment agency for those struggling with addiction. The agency serves individuals, families and teens from across the North Shore and the Merrimack Valley.
