Your husband doesn’t trust you because you haven’t been trustworthy. But taking away your phone and Internet and keeping you under lock and key will not help you to rebuild it.
You two need more help than anyone can give you in a letter, and I hope you will seek it. If he won’t go for counseling, you should go without him because I don’t think the status quo can last.
:Dear Abby: My sister and brother-in-law passed away two years ago. I am the only living relative of their 28-year-old son, “Louis.” He is a loner, spoiled and a poor houseguest. I invite Louis over only because I don’t want him to be alone at holiday times. My husband, teenage daughter and I have nothing in common with him, and frankly, he spoils our holidays.
How can I stop inviting my nephew without feeling guilty? Or is there another solution? I hate to make waves.
:Holiday Hater in Canada
:Dear Holiday Hater: If you invite your nephew for FEWER holidays, you will be able to ease your conscience, enjoy more holidays and allow the young man a chance to become more proactive in planning entertainment for himself.
Dear Abby: I may be wrong, but isn’t it presumptuous for someone to open the message card on a flower delivery before you get home when the flowers are for you?
:Kimberly in Maryland
:Dear Kimberly: You’re not wrong. The person opening the cards isn’t being helpful, but nosy. And it wouldn’t be out-of-line to tell the person not to do it again.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.