SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

May 4, 2013

Dear Abby: Dad’s hands-on approach makes girl uncomfortable

:Dear Abby: I’m a 13-year-old girl who has been trying to give my father a second chance. I was taken away from my parents when I was 8 because they were on drugs. I haven’t seen my father for three years, but now that he’s living with my grandparents and me, I decided to give him a second chance.

He has been very “hand-sy” with me — giving me massages, kissing my cheek — and this all makes me very uncomfortable. I thought it was because he hasn’t seen me in a while, but today as I was leaving to go to my mom’s, he slapped my butt as I walked out the door. Now I’m scared. I spend a lot of the day at home with him alone. I don’t want things to get out of hand. Any advice?

:Worried In Delaware

:Dear Worried: Your father has lost three years with you. He may not realize that his “little girl” is no longer a child. That is why it is important that you TELL him what he’s doing makes you uncomfortable. You should also tell your mother and grandparents about what’s happening and that it scares you. You do not have to tolerate unwanted contact, and if it persists, report it to a teacher or counselor at school or contact me again.

:Dear Abby: I have a dilemma. I work in a small high school in a student support position. Girls come into my office who are pregnant and excited about it! Telling them congratulations for putting themselves in this position seems counterproductive, or like I am endorsing this choice. I don’t!

No high school girls — or boys, for that matter — should put themselves in a position to be a parent when they themselves aren’t fully grown and independent. I feel like saying, “You have ruined your life” instead, but I hold my tongue. What do you suggest?

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