SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

May 17, 2013

Ask Dog Lady: His dog gets in the way

Q. I am in a new relationship with a man I adore. The only problem is his dog, Chopper, who’s in control. The dog barks constantly, jumps in people’s laps (not a lap-size dog) and sleeps smack in the middle of us in the bed. We can’t even be affectionate because of the dog blocking us. I don’t mind the dog being in the bed, but I think he needs to be at the end of the bed. I just can’t handle a dog conditioned to do what he pleases. How do I handle this situation?

A: Your chap has all the control with Chopper. You should understand that the relationship between him and his pet is strong and enduring. This should give you hope and pause for paws, because any guy who loves a dog is a guy with a lot of love to give — but also a man who may be using the dog as an excuse to prevent a woman from entry into his home and heart.

Whatever you do or say, please maintain your sense of humor and composure. You should not be so attached to the outcome (a Chopper-less bed) that you forget you’re still in a new and fragile relationship and can still walk away.

You might begin the conversation simply by suggesting your guy train Chopper to sleep at the foot of the bed. This seems reasonable enough. See how the man you adore responds to this modest proposal. If he reacts negatively or defensively, you have insight into his character and his ability to forge a relationship with you. If he’s open to your suggestion, the departure point may lead to a general conversation about the dog’s behavior.

Q. We adopted a 5-month-old puppy from a rescue league. She’s great in every way and a quick learner. The only thing we cannot get her to do is take a walk away from the house. She stops dead in her tracks and looks back toward the house and whimpers sometimes. We’ve tried different paths around the house, as well as street walking and walking in the woods. Please help us. We need to walk our puppy.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Lifestyle
  • Orchid North Shore Gardener: It’s the summer without hydrangeas August "Fairest of the months! Ripe summer's queen, the hey-day of the year, with robes that gleam with sunny sheen Sweet August doth appear." -- R. Combe Miller Q: Can you tell me why my numerous "Endless Summer" hydrangea plants are not blooming th

    August 1, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dr. Kate: 8 strategies to help your child overcome a fear of bullies Despite the massive anti-bullying campaigns that dominate our current culture, many students continue to feel bullied. The current anti-bullying campaign focuses on decreasing bullying by policing the bullies, but what about empowering the victims? B

    August 1, 2014

  • booknotes0801 Stroll through a story at Danvers library Reading can be good for the body as well as the mind. That's especially true for visitors of the new StoryWalk at Peabody Institute Library of Danvers. "StoryWalk is combining physical activity with reading," said Karen Veilleux, a children's librar

    August 1, 2014 1 Photo

  • frenkel Quick pick: Bring stories to life Bring stories to life Explore and experience the challenges and satisfactions of combining text with images in a four-session illustration workshop, led by award-winning published illustrator Yetti Frenkel at the Abbot Public Library, 235 Pleasant St

    August 1, 2014 1 Photo

  • TV Outlander [Duplicate] 'Outlander' brings novels to life vibrantly NEW YORK -- There's an odd believability you find inside "Outlander" that somehow makes it feel true-to-life. Never mind that it's a rip-roaring fantasy. Claire, a lovely British Army nurse on a second honeymoon in Scotland, is mysteriously swept fr

    August 1, 2014 4 Photos

  • Dear Abby: Diabetic friend suffers close call miles away from hospital Dear Abby: My husband and I have a lake house and invited a couple (close friends) to join us for a few days. The husband has cancer and has been taking chemo. We wanted them both to rest, as the wife is his only caregiver. We all thought this would

    August 1, 2014

  • Friday's Best Bets Best Bets for Friday, Aug. 1

    Looking for something to do today? Here are The Salem News' Best Bets:

    August 1, 2014 1 Photo

  • Thursday's Best Bets Best Bets for Thursday, July 31

    Looking for something to do today? Here are The Salem News' Best Bets:

    July 31, 2014 1 Photo

  • homecoming1 Festivals in Salem and Beverly celebrate cities' heritage

    Salem Heritage Days and Beverly Homecoming, both of which start this weekend, are roughly the same age. "This is the 49th year," said Bruce Doig, director of parks and recreation in Beverly. "The most recent form of homecoming started in 1966 as a wa

    July 31, 2014 6 Photos

  • 140723_SN_DLE_MINER5 For artist Nathan Miner, it’s not what you see, but how Visitors can see five paintings by Nathan Miner, and watch one being created, at Montserrat College of Art this summer. That's because the gallery where the artist's works are hanging includes a studio where he will be working until Aug. 14, in a co

    July 31, 2014 5 Photos

NDN Video
Comments Tracker