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Lifestyle

February 11, 2014

Dear Abby: Best friend’s past abuse haunts family gatherings

(Continued)

Dear Abby: I recently became involved with a longtime female friend of mine when she was in town. I have always loved “Miranda” as a friend, but now I also feel attracted to her as a potential perfect match.

The problem is she lives far away. We keep in touch almost daily. I love that, but it makes me miss her, and I end up thinking about her all day, which doesn’t help. She says she has feelings for me, too, but “the timing isn’t in our favor.”

What can I do to go about my day without letting thoughts of Miranda rule my brain? I am 27 and haven’t felt like this about anyone before. We’ll see each other in a couple of months, and the time couldn’t be crawling by any slower.

Abby, are long-distance relationships even worth trying? — Anxious In Colorado

Dear Anxious: Of course they are. As the saying goes, “nothing ventured, nothing gained.” Years ago, couples who were separated by distances courted via the mail. In fact, some of them wrote beautiful poetry and love letters that are classics. (Check out the letters of Victorian writers Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning.) Couples separated by war before the invention of the Internet also managed to nurture relationships that led to marriage.

So, consider yourself lucky that you and Miranda can be in touch every day, even though at this point it’s frustrating. As to the problem of her dominating your thoughts all day, a way to deal with it is to STAY BUSY.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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