, Salem, MA


March 5, 2014

Dear Abby: Girl who loves troubled boy can’t save him all by herself


Dear Abby: A friend of mine, “Cameron,” has a problem. It’s his second year in college, and he’s still a virgin. He gave his heart to a girl in the past, and it left him bitter, emotionally unavailable and, unfortunately, a virgin. He is outspoken, but deep down, he lacks confidence.

How can my friends and I help him, and how can he help himself? — His Bff In California

DEAR BFF: You are well-meaning, but the person asking this question should be your friend Cameron. While the fact that he may still be a virgin and “unavailable” bothers you and your friends, it’s possible that it doesn’t bother HIM.

If and when Cameron does tell you he is troubled by it, advise him to visit the student health center and discuss it with a counselor, because there may be complicated reasons for it. He doesn’t need help losing his virginity. But he may need help addressing his trust issues or he may always remain emotionally unavailable.

Dear Abby: How do you feel about young adults using the F-word in public? My sweetie, a mom of two, insists the word is becoming accepted. I am of the “old school,” and I maintain that the word is tasteless and shouldn’t be used in public. What do you think? — Keeping It Clean In Massachusetts

Dear Keeping It Clean: I think that, regardless of age, the F-word should not be used in public — and if it’s used in private, it should be reserved only for “special occasions.”


Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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