SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

December 16, 2013

Dear Abby: Widower dreading Christmas will feel better reaching out

Dear Abby: Christmas is coming, and I dread it. I have only my brother, his wife and their kids. I’m on Social Security disability, and I barely make it each month. They buy me gifts, but I feel embarrassed to accept them because I can’t buy anything for them. It makes me feel small.

Even though I have nothing to offer my nieces, my brother and sister-in-law persuade me to go anyway. They are financially much better off than I am.

I lost my wife a year ago. I see everyone else having someone in their lives, and I feel alone. There’s just me and my dog now. The holidays hurt. What can I do?

Miserable In Massachusetts

Dear Miserable: You have something to give to your relatives. It’s the gift of your PRESENCE. If you have a talent, share it with them.

Because this is your first Christmas without your wife, it’s no wonder you feel alone. At this time of year, many people do. A way to lessen the sense of isolation would be to do something for someone else. If you’re able, volunteer at a food bank, a homeless shelter, a senior center. It will give you less time to brood, and you will feel welcome and needed.

Dear Abby: I recently went on a first (and last) date with a “gentleman.” He ordered himself a beer and a prime rib dinner. He never asked me if I wanted anything to eat or drink.

As flabbergasted as I was, I have a theory: Men today ARE different from those of the past, and my guess it’s because the pierced and tattooed gals today speak and act like sailors, therefore ruining it for the rest of us. Am I right?

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