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December 17, 2013

Dear Abby: Overeager mother-in-law spoils birthday surprise

(Continued)

I had a party two nights ago where he introduced his new girlfriend. They spent most of the time making out like teenagers in front of everyone. Some guests were so uncomfortable they left early.

I haven’t seen Derek since, and I’m worried not only that he’s moving too fast to make up for lost time, but that he’s doing it with someone who also is oblivious to how socially unacceptable their behavior was. I’m not sure how to express my concerns to my friend without hurting him.

Concerned In California

Dear Concerned: It would not be rude or hurtful for you to mention to Derek that you think the girl is “great” — but the show they put on at your party made some of your other guests so uncomfortable they left early. Let’s hope the “hint” is sufficient.

Dear Abby: My 10-year-old daughter told a friend she would go to a concert with her a few months ago. Since then, my daughter decided to end the friendship because the girl was clingy, dramatic and controlling.

Do I insist my daughter go to the concert as she said she would, or let her off the hook? The friend seems to be hoping she will go so they can renew the friendship, but my daughter has no plans to do it. Please help!

Managing Discord In Minnesota

Dear Mom: If the girl is expecting your daughter to go to the concert with her, your daughter should tell her she does NOT plan to attend, so the girl can invite someone else. Do not insist that your daughter associate with anyone who makes her feel uncomfortable. Her reason for pulling back from that relationship showed good judgment.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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