SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

February 3, 2014

Dear Abby: Pregnant young wife needs to plan for future support

Dear Abby: One of my childhood friends got married at a young age. She’s now expecting and due in a few months. Every day she messages me on Facebook about something else her husband has done to cause her emotional stress. For example, a few weeks ago she found flirtatious erotic messages he had exchanged with another girl.

I want to help her because we have been friends for so long. We’re both 19, and I feel I should know how to help her, but since I’ve never been married I don’t know what to say. Any advice?

Friend In Kentucky

Dear Friend: What a sad situation. Your friend is married to someone who apparently doesn’t want to be married — and it’s open to question whether he will be much of a parent. If she has family, she should talk to them about this because she may need their help soon. She should also make plans for how she will support herself and the child, because her husband appears to be a flake.

Please pass this advice along. And let this be a lesson to you about the importance of achieving independence before assuming the responsibility of parenthood.

Dear Abby: My mother is in her mid-90s. Several of her lifelong friends, widows, still live in their own homes, as she does. However, they no longer drive.

A phone call would help them communicate directly with each other about life situations, but it doesn’t seem to happen. Instead of calling and talking to each other, they hear about each other third-hand.

Is it typical for the elderly to abandon each other and be so cruel? If so, what could help people communicate better regardless of age?

Concerned Son In Colorado

Dear Son: Not everyone in their 90s ages the same way. Some individuals are still active; others are less so. When seniors stop driving, there can be a tendency for them to become isolated and depressed. Others may be taking medications that affect their memory.

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