Luckily, my son was able to come and retrieve us. Most people would have cut her off the first time she pulled this stunt, but I’m a “three-strikes-you’re-out” kind of person. I have given my mother many opportunities to apologize for her behavior, but she refuses to acknowledge her own wrongdoing.
I have decided this is the last time this will happen to me. I no longer speak to her and won’t allow my daughter to go anywhere with her for fear she will be dumped somewhere unsafe. My other kids — ages 21 and 22 — say I should get over it. Was cutting her off a reasonable response?
Thumbin’ For A Ride
Dear Thumbin’: Your mother appears to have a short fuse and poor judgment. Is cutting her off a reasonable response? I think so. Dumping someone in an unsafe neighborhood could get the person killed, something we see all too often in the media. If you ever decide to relent, however, and go anywhere with her, make sure you are the one behind the wheel because it’s clear Mama can’t be trusted when she’s in the driver’s seat.
Dear Abby: My family and I moved to Iowa when I was in high school to be closer to the other side of the family. Because we had lived in California, we didn’t interact much with our Iowa family. So now, even though we have been back in Iowa for the last eight years, they still forget our birthdays and don’t include us in family get-togethers. How should I deal with this situation?
Excluded In The Hawkeye State
Dear Excluded: It appears you’re being punished for the “sins” of your parents. (Could there have been some friction with the Iowa relatives that caused the move to California?) All you can do is talk to them and see if you can improve the situation. Consider inviting them to YOUR family get-togethers and you may get a positive response.
However, if they are not receptive, then it will be up to you to create a “replacement” family out of the people you have become close to in your community since your return.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.