SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

January 10, 2014

Dear Abby: Portrait of man’s late wife clouds couple’s life together

Dear Abby: My boyfriend of two years, “Clint,” recently brought a large framed picture of his deceased wife into our home. He placed it on his dresser in front of framed photos of us together.

His wife died three years ago. We are living together in a condo Clint bought for me. He made it clear from the beginning that he didn’t want to move me into “her house.”

Clint also still wears his wedding ring. He carries guilt and doesn’t seem to have made closure. I told him I don’t feel comfortable with her picture “looking at us.” He doesn’t think there should be a problem. Should I move on? — In The Shadows

Dear In The Shadows: That Clint still wears his wedding ring tells me he may not have accepted his wife’s death. How sad for him.

Ask him to move his wife’s picture to a room other than the bedroom because, while he doesn’t think it’s creating a problem, it is creating one for YOU. If he can’t bring himself to do that — and join a grief support group — then you should consider moving on.

Dear Abby: Enough with the problems! It’s time you printed a positive letter.

I’m an active, friendly senior who lives alone, but I’m not lonely. I have many friends of all ages and a devoted family. Why? Because as I traveled through many states during my life, I reached out to people along the way.

The saying, “If you want a friend, be a friend,” is true. If we want friends, we can’t sit back and wait for people to come to us. Smile, speak up, pay a sincere compliment — just communicate! If you do, the majority of people will respond positively.

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