Adoptive Mother In California
Dear Abby: “Heartbroken” may desperately want to be a mother and her mother may want to raise her grandchild, but has either of them given consideration to the special needs that Nicole’s child will likely be born with?
We have two adopted children whose birth mothers had varying degrees of alcohol and drug dependency. Our boys have learning disabilities, seizures, ADHD and more. They require numerous kinds of therapy and more doctors’ appointments than we had with our six biological children combined.
Adoption is a wonderful process, and the joys of raising a child with special needs are numerous. However, “Heartbroken” and her mother both need to be aware that adopting a bundle of joy whose mother was drugged and/or drank during pregnancy means they will be raising a child who has some level of disability.
“Heartbroken,” DO YOUR RESEARCH. I’d hate to see your heart broken again.
Mom Who Knows In Idaho
Dear Abby: Having an addiction does not absolve Nicole from facing the music for her past actions — she may indeed serve time. But respect and empathy are more appropriate reactions to her situation than judgment and criticism. It’s likely Nicole is already providing herself with plenty of those.
“Heartbroken” should consider talking with her sister to validate how hard it must be for Nicole, who “always wanted to be a mom,” to finally be pregnant but facing jail time instead of nursery time. I know several women in the same situation who acted on what they perceived to be in the best interest of their child. They facilitated the adoption of the child, most often sending the child to a loving and trusted relative, especially a sibling.
Addiction Medicine Doc In New England
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.