SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

March 26, 2014

Dear Abby: Husband can't erase wife's journal writing about affair

Dear Abby: I have been married almost 20 years. Eight years ago my wife began an emotional affair with a co-worker. It lasted a year, until he left the company. Although they never had sex, they did have some physical contact that most people would consider inappropriate, and my wife considered ending our marriage because of the feelings she had for him. She now says the episode was a huge mistake and she loves me more than ever.

The problem is, she wrote many entries about him in a journal. I know she kept writing about him several years after they lost contact, including saying that she loved him more than a year after he’d left.

I want my wife to remove the portions of the journal pertaining to this guy. She doesn’t want to. I’m still hurting from this and am considering counseling, but for now, what do you think? Should she get rid of the journal?

Considering Counseling

Dear Considering Counseling: Because you are still hurting seven years after the fact, stop “considering” counseling and get it NOW.

If your wife is a serious journal writer — and many people are — that she would want her writings to remain intact in spite of the fact they reflect her emotional affair is not unusual. If that’s the case, instead of insisting she edit or destroy her journal, my advice is to stop reading it.

Dear Abby: I’m a 47-year-old man who was single until seven years ago. Then I met “Maggie,” the most wonderful woman I had ever known. She wasn’t the hotsy-totsy one-nighter type I was used to. She was a real woman who fulfilled everything I had ever dreamed of (including bringing a wonderful 4-year-old little girl into my life). The biological father is out of the picture.

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