SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

November 20, 2013

Dear Abby: Wife hoping for baby wants husband to stop using drugs

Dear Abby: My husband and I want to start a family, but until now our circumstances have not made this possible. After a big move and starting a new business, we have decided it’s about time.

My problem is my husband uses drugs to relieve stress. I don’t feel he abuses them; it just takes the edge off after a hard day’s work like a glass of wine does for me sometimes.

I would like him to stop taking the drugs while we are trying to conceive in case it could affect the baby. He is unwilling, and it makes me crazy. I have decided that if he can’t do this, he isn’t ready to be a father. On the other hand, he’s a hard worker, and I wonder if by asking him to do this I am being selfish. Please give me some advice.

Ready For Motherhood In Mississippi

Dear Ready For Motherhood: You are NOT being selfish, you are being prudent. According to Dr. June Reinisch, director emerita of the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction: “There is some evidence that suggests certain drugs can attach to the sperm and therefore affect the fetus. So, the best plan for a healthy baby would be for the man to be as ‘clean’ as possible before he starts to make a child. This is because sperm are produced about three months before they are released.”

Dear Abby: One of my husband’s relatives is filing for bankruptcy for the third time. His wife recently started to receive disability. I believe they are abusing the system.

I know she was not truthful on her disability application. I work in the health care field and in the past have completed evaluations for disability claims. I know the only way she would meet the requirements would be if she misrepresented her current abilities.

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