SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

October 19, 2013

Dear Abby: Dad in jail loses contact with newborn baby’s mom

Dear Abby: I am 20 years old and in jail. My ex-girlfriend recently had a baby. I left her during her pregnancy. We had been together for two years, but things just weren’t working.

I told her I still wanted to be in my daughter’s life after she had the baby, but she left and went to North Carolina. After I was incarcerated, I lost contact with her. She said I can be a part of my daughter’s life only if we have a family and get back together.

I’m willing to do that, but I won’t be out of jail for five more months, and I have no way to contact her. How do I go about it, Abby?

Loves My Baby Girl

Dear Loves: When your ex said what she did, she was using the baby to manipulate you into doing what she wanted. Because your relationship “wasn’t working,” I would caution you against having any more children with her.

When you are released, she may come after you for child support, or if she applies for benefits in North Carolina, the state may do that. That would be one way of pinpointing where she is. You could also search for her online. However, if you can’t locate her any other way, you may have to hire a private detective when you can afford one.

Dear Abby: My kindhearted, loving mother-in-law would do anything for me. She has lived in an in-law apartment attached to our home for 20 years. She and my father-in-law — God rest his soul — were a huge help when our children were growing up.

The kids are gone now, and my husband and I would like to sell our home and move to something smaller. Would it be awful of us to make her move? She is 88. She has a loud and adamant-sounding voice, so it would not be in our best interest to have her move with us.

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