SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

October 21, 2013

Dear Abby: Woman who left bad marriage hesitates to take next step

Dear Abby: Last summer, after 24 years of marriage, I finally summoned the nerve to take my teenage daughter and leave my emotionally abusive husband. We are both thriving now.

I have been in therapy, lost almost 45 pounds and have rediscovered my self-confidence all over again. A friend I have known for more than 10 years has expressed interest in dating me. I like him very much, but I’m not sure if it would be appropriate to date yet. What do you think?

Tentative in Massachusetts

Dear Tentative: Tempting as this is, proceed with caution. When a person has been emotionally starved for a long time, then begins to feel attractive, accepted and validated again, the result can be euphoria — a powerful “high.” Right now you need to be rational.

What I think about your dating this man is less important than what your therapist thinks right now. Please make this question a priority during your next sessions, because the insight you’ll gain into yourself will help you not only in a relationship with this man — if you decide to have one — but in future ones as well.

Dear Abby: My 86-year-old dad buys all his food from the markdown “quick sale” tables, then lets it sit in the fridge for weeks or even months before he eats it. He insists the mold is penicillin and good for you. He eats moldy cheese, bread, fruit and meat I wouldn’t feed to my dogs. He has a turkey in the freezer that expired in 2008, and he can’t understand why I won’t cook it for my pets.

Dad reads your column every day, so please give me some input. By the way, he isn’t poor and can afford good, fresh food.

Perplexed Daughter in Southern California

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