SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

October 23, 2013

Cross-dressing husband worries his secret is out

Dear Abby: I am a happily married, heterosexual cross-dressing male. My wife understands and is supportive, and we have a wonderful life together.

During the past week, I have been caught unexpectedly by three different neighbors, and we are now in a state of panic. We’re not sure what to do. If you have any suggestions, we are all ears.

Caught In A Panic

Dear Caught: Because you would prefer to keep your cross-dressing private and this is October, you could tell your neighbors your female attire is what you’ll be wearing to a costume party. It’s plausible.

However, when someone is “caught” engaging in a private activity once — that’s an accident. When it happens three times in one week, I can’t help but wonder whether on some level you would like to be more open about your lifestyle.

If you’re not aware, a resource, The Society for the Second Self (Tri-Ess International), offers support for heterosexual cross-dressers, as well as their spouses, partners and families. It has been in my column before and is the oldest and largest support organization for cross-dressers and those who love them. It promotes cross-dressing with dignity and decency and treats spouses on an equal basis with their cross-dressers. You can learn more about it at www.tri-ess.org.

Dear Abby: My best friend’s husband has been texting me. When he did it the first time, he had been drinking and my friend was asleep. Some of the things he said made me uncomfortable, but I also didn’t like that he said his wife didn’t know what he was doing. He stopped after I told him I was uncomfortable with it.

Now he has started up again, offering support because my mother passed away recently. I am honestly not sure whether he’s trying to be a good friend or if he’s looking for something more, and that scares me. I don’t want to start trouble between my friend and her husband, especially because they seem so happy together. Any ideas on how to handle this?

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