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Lifestyle

April 5, 2014

Dear Abby: Teen shares in friend’s grief without shedding any tears

Dear Abby: I’m 15. Yesterday, they told our class that one of my friend’s parents had died suddenly. Every single person in our grade cried, except for me. I felt bad about not crying for my friend’s loss, but I just didn’t.

Another friend told me that last night people were texting, and it had been mentioned several times that I wasn’t crying and that it looked like I didn’t care, even though I do. I feel bad about not crying, but I don’t want to lie and say that I did. Please help me.

Dry-Eyed In Colorado

Dear Dry-Eyed: If you feel that any explanation is called for, simply say that when you heard the news you were so stunned that you couldn’t cry. Your reaction is very common. When bad news is conveyed, some people are just struck numb. Believe me, not everyone who can cry on command is necessarily grieving.

Dear Abby: My boyfriend, “Chico,” and I have been going together for six years. We have discussed marriage, but for the past few months he has become distant and not as loving as he once was. Chico is the dependent type who often needs to be reminded by his parents or me about things he needs to do.

When I asked Chico what was going on, he said he is confused and he thinks he relies too much on his parents and me for direction.

He said he didn’t want to break up, but he would like some time alone. He assured me there is no one else involved and he wants to continue talking on the phone to me once in a while.

I don’t know what to do! Should I believe what he is saying about needing time, or do you think this is Chico’s way of telling me it’s over?

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