SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

February 27, 2013

Dear Abby: Man’s online porn addiction robs marriage of its passion

:Dear Abby: I need help and I can’t talk to anyone I know, so I’m pouring my heart out to you. My husband is addicted to online porn. Our sex life has suffered massively because of it. He seems uninterested in sex with me. I had a feeling that it might be something or someone else.

My woman’s intuition told me there had to be a reason for him turning to porn, so I checked our computer’s history log and found he has been surfing gay porn. He does watch straight porn but now peppers it with male-on-male porn, as well.

It has shattered my world. I don’t know what to think or what to do. I can’t discuss this with my family. They would never view him in the same way again. Help!

:J. in Brighton, England

:Dear J.: Your husband may be curious, bisexual or have discovered (late) that he is gay. It happens. You need to have a frank conversation with him. Remain calm, stay strong and remember that you, too, are entitled to a sex life. You have nothing to lose by discussing this, and everything to gain.

If you need more help afterward, consider going online and contacting the Straight Spouse Network at www.straightspouse.org.

Dear Abby: I have been in therapy for four years. I like my therapist, who has helped me immensely. However, over the past year, she has become increasingly tardy in keeping her appointment times.

I understand there are sometimes emergencies, but being a half-hour late every week is excessive. I feel it is disrespectful to me. She keeps saying I just don’t understand.

How can I get across to her how frustrated I am? Or do I need to find a new therapist?

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