I now suspect that he’s planning to propose to me on our fifth anniversary. (He has never been great at hiding surprises.)
I’m thrilled that he wants to make that kind of commitment, and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him, but the thought of marriage scares me. I don’t know if it’s nerves about the pending proposal or that I have never planned on marriage and now I have to think about all the stress and strife that comes with planning a wedding.
I want to say yes, but I love the way things are right now, and I know that marriage will change things. What, if anything, do I say to him?
@text1_boldintro\::Cold Feet? In Salt Lake City
:Dear Cold Feet?: I wish you had mentioned why you think being married to Dan would “change things.” If you’ve been happy together for five years, it’s unlikely that making a formal commitment would damage the special relationship you have together.
Perhaps this is “old school,” but I feel that if couples plan to bring children into the world, they should be married. Because you want nothing more than to spend the rest of your life with Dan, and are concerned about the stress of planning a wedding, when he pops the question, I suggest you say, “Yes — why don’t we elope?”
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.