SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

November 5, 2010

Should parents of the bride give a wedding gift, too?

Q: Our daughter is getting married soon. The cost for the wedding is close to $100,000. Are we, as parents, supposed to give a wedding gift in addition to paying for the wedding?

A: Congratulations on your daughter's upcoming wedding. While in some families and cultures, the parents do give a tangible gift to the bridal couple, other families and cultures feel the wedding itself is enough.

This means it is completely your choice. Since you asked, I do recommend a token gift, something your daughter and her new mate can hold, point to, or use and say, "This was a wedding gift from my parents."

You need not run off to the mall. If you have any family heirlooms, something you brought out every holiday or something from her childhood home that is symbolic of familial love, that would make a lovely and thoughtful wedding gift.

Q: I moved to a new neighborhood about 10 years ago. Since that time, I have been asked to buy cookies, attend galas, support candidates, sponsor walk-a-thons and make donations.

Some of these are annual events, and I give repeatedly. Well, last year I found an organization I wished to sponsor and have been contacting these neighbors. It has been truly eye-opening to see how many have declined. Politely, but declined.

Yesterday, one of these neighbors who has been asking for years, and who declined to donate to my chosen organization, came around to ask me again for her cause. When I declined, she said, "But you have been donating for years." I said I was pooling my funds for the charity I had selected. I was shocked she did not make the connection. Should I have been more explicit with her?

What should I say when those who declined to donate come around again for their causes?

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Lifestyle
  • Friday's Best Bets Best Bets for Friday, July 11

    Looking for something to do today? Check out The Salem News' Best Bets.

    July 11, 2014 1 Photo

  • Vet Connection: Pets gone wild According to a recent marketing survey, about 17 percent of all dogs exhibit signs consistent with a condition known as separation anxiety. Video footage of pets left alone can show excessive pacing, extreme vocalization and, in some cases, a rampage

    July 11, 2014

  • Dog Lady: Looking to dogma for good pet-owner karma Dear Dog Lady: Recently, I took my dog to a "dogma," a yoga class for people and their dogs. The class was developed by a local yoga studio and geared to people and their dogs to hang out together. I am always looking for something fun to do with my

    July 11, 2014

  • Shea_3 Book notes: "Songs without words" by Gerald Shea Imagine trying to read this sentence if the consonants had been deleted. That's what Gerald Shea, who didn't discover he was partly deaf until his early 30s, has dealt with most of his life. "I have great trouble with consonants; I hear vowels well,"

    July 11, 2014 2 Photos

  • hungergames Quick pick: Train for the Hunger Games Calling all tributes! The Swampscott Public Library Teen Area invites teens in grades five and up to train for the 74th annual Hunger Games on Wednesday at 1 p.m. Participants will learn to create lifesaving shelter anywhere; discover how to locate a

    July 11, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dear Abby: 26-year-old still resents parents who skipped graduation Dear Abby: When I was a child, my parents skipped my elementary school graduation. For that matter, everyone did. My grandfather had just died, so Mom was mourning his loss. Fast-forward a few years -- nobody attended my junior high graduation, eithe

    July 11, 2014

  • Thursday's Best Bets Best Bets for Thursday, July 10

    Looking for something to do this afternoon? Check out our Best Bets.

    July 10, 2014 1 Photo

  • mermaid_1 Adrienne Eller lands dream role in Music Theatre production of 'The Little Mermaid'

    Adrienne Eller said hello to the Little Mermaid, long before she got to play her in the musical. "Whenever I went to Disneyland, I waited in line to meet Ariel," she said. "We owned the VHS. I don't think I saw it in the theater, but it was one of my

    July 10, 2014 7 Photos

  • seafood_9 Seafood Festival at Salem Willows features lobster plunge, kids activities, lots of food

    Tartar sauce or lemon? Whichever you prefer, there will be plenty of dishes to try them on at this weekend's first-ever Salem Seafood Festival. Twenty vendors will be visiting Salem Willows from Friday to Sunday to serve chowder, lobsters and fish,

    July 10, 2014 5 Photos

  • ireland North Shore Entertainment Calendar Good cause PADDLE FOR PLUMMER. Sunday, July 13, 10 a.m., Plummer Home, 37 Winter Island Road, Salem. Stand-up Paddle Board Races (elite, recreational and youth mini race) to benefit the Plummer Home, which helps at-risk youth and teens. Type II PFDs

    July 10, 2014 2 Photos

NDN Video
Comments Tracker