SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

December 22, 2012

Dear Abby: Time to drive home a point in long-distance relationship

(Continued)

Wants Out In Colorado

Dear Wants Out: Nowhere in your letter could I discern a question, but from my vantage point, I disagree that you would “throw 32 years away.” You used that time to make sure your children were grown and independent.

I’m sorry about your wife’s delusions, but because she is unwilling to follow through with counseling, there is nothing you or I can do about them. If you want my permission to end this marriage, I can’t grant it; only you can do that for yourself.

Dear Abby: My sister is engaged to a severe alcoholic. I host the annual Christmas dinners and I feel stuck. When he was here last year, he broke a wine glass that held special meaning for my husband and me and generally made a fool of himself.

Should I invite my sister and tell her that her fiance isn’t welcome? (They live together.) He has gotten even worse this year. He broke three bones because he was so drunk he fell, and he left rehab three times in one month. I’m a cancer survivor and do not need the stress in my life.

Nervous In New York

Dear Nervous: I agree that you shouldn’t subject yourself to unnecessary stress. Your health must come first.

If you haven’t discussed this with your sister, do it NOW. A way to include her and her fiance would be to serve no alcohol during your Christmas celebration. However, if that isn’t feasible, then tell her that until her fiance is able to stay “dry,” you regret that you will be unable to entertain them.

■ ■ ■

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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