Dear Abby: My wife and I run a restaurant in a small town. Recently, my wife came home on my day off and told me that during the lunch hour, one of our servers had come into the kitchen and announced that they’d need extra sanitizer on table 29 because a mother was changing her baby on it!
What has happened in our society that people don’t understand that this is unsanitary and rude? Had I been there, I don’t know that I could have kept a civil tongue, and I feel like people today regard my disgust as unreasonable. Is there something I’m missing here?
Cafe Crazy
Dear “Crazy”: I don’t know who you have been talking to, but your disgust is NOT “unreasonable.” What that mother was missing was common sense and courtesy for those around her. I agree that changing a baby on a restaurant table was out of the ballpark — particularly if a changing table was available in the women’s restroom of your cafe. (I’m assuming there is one, but if there isn’t, the situation should be immediately rectified.)
Dear Abby: My husband, “Gene,” and I were married for five years until our divorce six months ago. We still live together and are dating each other. We had so many issues, I felt there needed to be a fresh start, including filing for divorce and living apart.
Now that we have started over, moved away from our hometown and gotten rid of several “friends,” our issues are gone and we’re financially stable. In fact, our relationship is better than ever.
Since things are now worked out, I’d like us to get remarried. I told him before our divorce that I hoped we could resolve things and marry again. Now he’s not sure, because he says if we got divorced again, he couldn’t bear the hurt. He says he still doesn’t understand why our “fresh start” included a divorce.
Abby, we love each other. We want to be together forever and have children. I don’t want to be dating my ex-husband indefinitely. Do you have advice for us?
Going Nowhere in Washington
Dear Going Nowhere: I sure do. In the interest of solidifying your fresh start, you and Gene should sign up for some premarital counseling. If you do, you may be able to help him understand why you felt the way you did. With counseling, you can sure that your problems are fully resolved, and it may reassure him that this time there won’t be another divorce. If you are thinking about a religious ceremony, the officiant may even require it.
Dear Abby: My sister and mother went to a movie recently. My sister became concerned that her husband and kids were locked out of the house, so she quickly took out her phone and texted her husband. It took less than 30 seconds.
A minute later, a large man came down the stairs of the theater, got right in her face and began berating her — telling her she was rude for pulling out her phone. It was so upsetting that she and Mom got up and left.
I understand that she should have stepped out of the theater to text. However, the man caused more of a scene than her texting did. What makes people think it is OK to treat people badly?
Holly in Kokomo
Dear Holly: The same thing that made your sister think it was OK to use her cellphone in a darkened theater. She’s lucky that all she got was a lecture because these days many people have short fuses.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
