, Salem, MA

September 20, 2013

Dog seems down since four-legged friend's death

Ask Dog Lady
Monica Collins

---- — Dear Dog Lady,

Recently, my dog Red, a Staffordshire bull terrier, passed away and my other dog, Spike, a British bulldog, started to act differently. Spike always seemed to view Red as the patriarchal figure and, with his passing, Spike became more subdued and mellow. Do you think this was a result of a general change in his personality caused by something chemical or hormonal? Or is it something deeper, something more profound? Does Spike feel more complex emotions of love and grief? To what extent do you believe Spike, and dogs as a whole, can feel the same range of emotions as we as human beings can feel?

A: Our dogs are magically complex creatures. They defy us to understand them. Such is their mysterious power and allure. This much we know: They love unconditionally. They feel psychic pain. They are deeply attached to family — both canine and human. They grieve. They experience joy. They thrive on encouragement and praise.

Take your dog to a veterinarian to rule out any physical hurts or diseases. But Dog Lady believes you are witnessing Spike’s emotional reaction to Red’s death. If Red was the alpha dog in the relationship, the Staffordshire obviously set much of the daily agenda for Spike. Now that his pup leader is gone, Spike must be feeling lost and confused. Make sure you spend quality time with him. Get Spike out and about, walking, socializing and frolicking with other dogs. The fresh air, invigorating butt sniffs and exercise will do much to ease Spike’s ennui and help him realize life goes on — as only dogs can experience that eternal truth in the moment.

Dear Dog Lady,

I am 25 years old and have had several boyfriends over the years. However, none of them ever got the dog thing. My three golden retrievers are my life. They are my kids and my friends. I am in despair of ever finding a decent man who, besides possessing the basic requirements (intelligence, sense of humor etc.), loves dogs like I do. Anyway, I wanted you to know how much I enjoyed your column. When you answer questions about dogs and dating, I feel some hope.

A: Your three large dogs are inconvenient arm candy for some men who fancy you date handy. Thanks for the shout-out and for the expression of hope. Yes, of course, there’s somebody out there who will be absolutely charmed by you and your three-pack. The man you seek, however, should be the man of your dreams, not the man of your dog dreams. Don’t expect Mr. Right to be as entranced by your animals as you are. A woman with three golden retrievers is formidable. You will have to assure any potential partner there’s a den in your heart for him, too. Dog Lady is uneasy with the rigid proclamation, “Love me, love my dogs,” because life is not that simple. The best any dog lady can hope for is a man who understands and admires her love of dogs.


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