SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

October 1, 2013

Dear Abby: Mastectomy fails to chase man from new wife’s side

(Continued)

At first, I felt that if the one person who was supposed to care couldn’t look at me, then no other man would either. I was wrong. After five years of dating, I never once encountered a man who was as insensitive as my husband had been. I have now found the man of my dreams.

In some respects, my “medical adventures,” as I refer to them, were the best thing that ever happened. They enabled me to see my ex for who he really was and find a man who truly IS a man.

Got A New Set And A New Life

Dear Abby: Breast cancer doesn’t ruin your life unless you let it.

I am 66 years old. When I was in high school, my mom had a breast removed. My parents and I just took it in stride. It didn’t define us. Dad adored her.

Mom would come in dressed up for whatever reason and ask, “Am I even?” because the “falsies” then were made of foam and were lightweight. She kept the vacation money pinned to it. She made a few new friends faint when she used it as a pin cushion. Dad died at 90, and Mom died the following year.

Mom could have helped “Anonymous.” She would have cut her a slice of homemade pie, poured a cup of coffee, sat down at the table and just talked to her. Women need other women. “Anonymous” should find a friend who has gone through the same thing and talk and pray. She needs both.

Earlene In Texas

Dear Abby: My wife went through a lumpectomy, chemotherapy, then radiation. During that time she went to work every day, except when she had a treatment.

Of course, I have a visual reminder of what she went through when we share an intimate moment, but she has had to deal with it every day of her life since then. When I see her scar, I think about how strong she was going through that difficult period of time. Rather than drive us apart, it has brought us closer together than I ever thought possible.

Husband Of A Breast Cancer Survivor

■■■

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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