SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

October 12, 2012

Dear Abby: Woman feels guilt over two families she helped shatter

:Dear Abby: Two men have left their wives for me. The relationship I had with the first one ended very badly (his choice). The second started shortly thereafter, and I am still with him.

When the first man found out, he tried to resume seeing me and became verbally abusive and harassed me when I wouldn’t. He hasn’t returned to his wife and has tried twice to commit suicide.

Both of these men are now divorced, and their ex-wives and children are understandably bitter. Even though they made the decision to leave without me asking them to — or even being aware that they were going to — I feel guilty having a hand in ending two marriages.

I’m sure the last thing either the wives or the children would want from me is an apology or any contact at all. What else can I do to come to terms with and accept what happened?

The Other Woman

Dear Other Woman: You appear to be carrying a large burden of guilt. And that’s a GOOD thing. There is nothing you can do to make amends to the families you have helped ruin because you can’t change the past. All you can do is vow that in the future you won’t fool around with any more married men. And then STICK to it.

Dear Abby: When I was 9, my mother knitted me a small blanket, about the size of a baby’s. I lost her to cancer a year later, when I was 10. Since then, I have carried it with me everywhere.

I am 26 now and married. I still have the blanket and carry it with me in my purse. Recently, I mentioned it to my husband and some friends. They were not supportive like I thought they would be. They made fun of me and called me “immature.”

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