SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

March 27, 2013

Dear Abby: Woman doesn't want to give in to boyfriend's request

:Dear Abby: I hope you will print this because I’m sure many women share this dilemma. My boyfriend, whom I adore and who is one of the kindest men on Earth, wants me to perform a certain sex act on him. While I understand that many people — and I don’t judge them — enjoy it, I am not one of them. I would feel degraded if I even tried it.

He says he won’t pressure me about it, yet he talks about it a lot. Just listening to him talk about it puts unwanted pressure on me. I have tried to be honest with him. I told him I don’t want to do this, but I’m afraid if I don’t, it will damage my relationship with him. However, if I give in, I’ll end up feeling self-loathing and resentment. Either way, it will be damaging. We’re in our 40s. Please offer any advice you might have.

:Worried in California

:Dear Worried: You are indeed not alone in this dilemma. You should not have to do anything you are uncomfortable with. The next time your boyfriend raises the subject, turn the discussion to amorous activities you both enjoy. Then suggest that instead of this particular sex act, you engage in his “No. 2 favorite.”

:Dear Abby: I’m a 51-year-old woman with a question. What do you recommend a person do or say when being lied to? I’m not talking about the little white lies we all tell to spare someone’s feelings, smooth things over, etc.

I once had a 21-year-old man tell me that he was a veteran of a war that had been over for 10 years! I felt like an idiot pretending to believe him and knew he’d be laughing at me later, but frankly, I felt scared to confront him.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Lifestyle
  • Poundstone2 Wait, wait ... it's Paula Paula Poundstone often makes fun of her own awkward appearance, which she emphasizes by wearing men's ties and wide-lapel suits. "Is it me, or do I have the worst posture in the history of the world?" she asks in one routine. "I hope to eventually go

    April 17, 2014 2 Photos

  • mainstage 'Servant of Two Masters' designed to keep you laughing The Mainstage Theatre at Salem State, which will shut its doors in June, opened 30 years ago to the sound of laughter. With performances this weekend and next of Carlo Goldoni's "The Servant of Two Masters," it's going to close that way, as well. "

    April 17, 2014 2 Photos

  • fishes North Shore Entertainment Calendar Music MUSIC AT GULU-GULU. Shows are at 8 p.m. unless otherwise noted, at Gulu-Gulu Cafe, 247 Essex St., Salem. Thursday, April 17, David Simmons Annual Theme Night, a Simon and Garfunkel Tribute; Friday, April 18, Lowman, alternative; Saturday, April

    April 17, 2014 3 Photos

  • 140415_SN_HAND_READERSEYE The reader's eye Name: Corey Kramer Hometown: Beverly Description: "I pass by this view every day on my way to school. This photo was taken at Endicott Beach. I enjoy taking photos of nature, which does not require human recognition to show its beauty. I have done ve

    April 17, 2014 1 Photo

  • riverhouse Good cause Cheer on the Red Sox, support the River House Everyone is invited to watch the Red Sox game at the second annual Danvers Community Lunch from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Monday in the parking lot of Maple Street Congregational Church, 90 Maple St. Cheer on the Sox as they play the Baltimore Orioles and pa

    April 17, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dear Abby: Father of four is selfish to put health at risk Dear Abby: I am a 34-year-old wife and mother of four. I'm concerned about my husband. He is 44 and drinks at home every evening after work. I don't mind him having a few cans of beer, but he drinks between six and 12 a day. He refuses to see a doct

    April 17, 2014

  • Thursday's Best Bets Best Bets for Thursday, April 17

    Looking for something to do today? Here are The Salem News' Best Bets:

    April 17, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dear Abby: Cellphone snoop discovers boyfriend is cheating

    Dear Abby: I have been in a long-distance relationship with "Victor" for several years. Recently, I began to suspect he was cheating. What raised my suspicion was that I suddenly couldn't reach him on the weekends. Usually, we would Skype -- Sunday n

    April 16, 2014

  • Wednesday's Best Bets Best Bets for Wednesday, April 16

    Looking for something to do today? Here are The Salem News' Best Bets:

    April 16, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dear Abby: Signs of an abuser apply to women as well as men Dear Abby: I read your Jan. 8 column about the warning signs of an abuser. Would you use your influence to say that men are also victims of abuse? My son was in a three-year relationship with a woman who scored 15 out of 15 on your list. We knew it

    April 15, 2014

NDN Video
Comments Tracker