SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

February 19, 2010

Date turns her stomach by blowing nose at the table

Q: I am a woman who just started going out with a mature man. While we were having dinner together at a restaurant, he said, "Excuse me," whipped out his hankie and blew his nose at the table just as I was beginning to eat my food. I did not say anything, but it really turned my stomach. How, when and where can I say something in an appropriate manner that will not be mean or offend his manhood? He also has a bad breath problem. I really like him but am not sure if I should say anything. What do you suggest?

A: As you know, kind men with good moral characters are hard to find. The question is whether this mature man is open to a bit of subtle coaching. Since the relationship is new, be gentle. For the bad breath, have a supply of mints on hand and when you pop one in your mouth, offer him one. "Here, Sweetie, a mint for you." If you start to see each other frequently, you should have him visit both the dentist and a doctor, as bad breath can be a signal for other medical issues. As for the tissues at the table, keep a keen eye out for when you are out and about. Any time you see someone blow his nose in public, whisper, "I read that a true gentleman would never blow his nose in public." If you are consistent, he will get the message.

Q: As part of my New Year's resolutions, I have been really looking at all aspects of my life. During my self-assessment, it dawned on me that while I care for the woman I am dating, I do not love her enough to marry her. It is so close to Valentine's Day, so is it better for me to put on a brave face and break up with her later this month or just get it over with now?

A: If you don't already have plans for the holiday, I believe it is best to let her go sooner rather than later. Better for her to be able to spend Valentine's Day with her friends than with someone pretending to love her. Either way, be kind. You have been considering how you feel and have adjusted to the idea of being single; she is under the impression that everything is fine. For her, this will be a surprise.

Q: My fiancé and I are building our own wedding Web page and will note on the invitations to go to our Web page to RSVP. I read that people do not RSVP with response cards and are even worse about responding online. We are trying to keep our costs down and only wanted to send out invitations without having to supply the response reply card inside. Most all of my friends are very tech-savvy. It is the older adults who may not be as comfortable with the Internet. Should I even be worrying about this?

A: Yes, you should be worrying about this, as you will need numbers to plan your wedding and reception. Ideally, RSVP cards should be included, but to keep down costs, you may include the Web site information. Then, a few days after the guests have started to receive the invitation in the mail, send out an e-mail to everyone with the hyperlink to your Web site (yes, you will need to call and track down everyone's e-mails), but this should help to make sure that everyone is able to RSVP easily.

¢¢¢

Jodi R.R. Smith is a nationally known etiquette expert and author. She is the president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. You are invited to e-mail her your etiquette emergencies at Salem@Mannersmith.com.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Lifestyle
  • North Shore religion news in brief Clifton Lutheran Church, located at 150 Humphrey St., Marblehead, elected Steven Maio as the new president of the congregation of Clifton Lutheran Church. The election celebration was held at the church's annual congregational meeting on Sunday, Feb. 5. Steven Maio replaces outgoing president Jim Koehn. Maio will serve a three-year term.

    February 11, 2012

  • North Shore religion calendar Sunday, Feb. 12
    "Vatican II in its Fiftieth Year," 7 to 9 p.m., St. Thomas the Apostle Church Hall, 1 Margin St., Peabody. Dr. Dominic F. Doyle will present "Imagining the Church Before and After Vatican II: The Relevance of Lumen Gentium for Today"; Lumen Gentium, the Dogmatic Constitution on the Church. Sponsored by VOTE, North Shore Seacoast Affiliate. All are welcome; freewill offering. Refreshments served. 978-745-0219 or 978-535-2321.

    February 11, 2012

  • Eagle Festival swooping into Newburyport tomorrow 11Throughout the free festival — which is scheduled for tomorrow from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. — participants can enjoy a range of activities, all designed to help participants observe eagles in their natural habitat.

    February 10, 2012

  • 5504431SN.jpg Pan-American jazz comes to Rockport ROCKPORT — A Grammy Award-winning musician will entertain a local audience with his blend of Pan-American jazz in a benefit event tonight that also highlights the growing revival of jazz on the North Shore.

    February 10, 2012 1 Photo

  • 5504424SN.jpg 'The Addams Family': Quirky musical comedy comes to Boston Where does one go as an actress after playing Cruella de Vil? If you are Sara Gettelfinger, straight to Morticia Addams.
    You know, that Addams. Da-da-da. Snap. Snap. Da-da-da. Snap. Snap. Da-da-da. Da-da-da. Da-da-da. Snap. Snap.

    February 10, 2012 1 Photo

  • 5481134SN.jpg Short and snappy John Bonner's film "The Impossible Journey" gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, "You can't get there from here."
    The short movie, which will screen at the Winter Film Festival on Thursday, Feb. 16, tells the story of an 18-mile bicycle ride that Bonner took from his home in Marblehead to Boston.

    February 9, 2012 2 Photos

  • 5496506SN.jpg AN ARABIC MODE Can music solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict?
    That possibility is being considered by a class at Salem State, which will host the SHARQ Arabic Music Ensemble on Monday, Feb. 13, for a performance and master class that are both open to the public.

    February 9, 2012 1 Photo

  • North Shore Entertainment Calendar Good cause and fundraisers
    DANCING WITH THE STAFF. Thursday, Feb. 9, 7 p.m., Swampscott High School, 200 Essex St., Swampscott. Dancing With the Staff competition will benefit the Swampscott High School Dance Team. $5/advance, $7/at the door. Open to the public. To purchase tickets, contact Coach Danielle Lannon at daniellelannon@gmail.com, or Alexa Baldacci at alexabaldacci@gmail.com.

    February 9, 2012

  • Pet Connection: How to prevent a lost-pet crisis Tonka, a beloved Jack Russell terrier and member of a Salem family, disappeared on Halloween while his owners were giving out treats and getting their kids into costumes for trick-or-treating.
    The devastated parents called the veterinary practice, Animal Control Officer Donald Famico and the Salem police to see if any lost animals had been turned in. Very little sleep was achieved that night. Mom and dad scoured the neighborhood looking for Tonka and contacted everyone they knew to help them find him. They had no idea if Tonka had been lost or stolen. The next morning, their young children were so enraptured with their Halloween candy they did not notice Tonka was missing, and their wise mother got them off to school calmly without distressing them with the bad news. Then she went back about her search.

    February 7, 2012

  • The Buzz Many wish people were more like dogs It seems some people are not dreaming of getting a puppy as a Valentine's Day gift, but rather wishing their human mates were more like a dog. And their dogs are helping them look for mates! According to an American Kennel Club survey:

    February 7, 2012

NDN Video
Comments Tracker