Q: When I run client meetings, they are often at the client's work site. While I try to be polite, professional and concise, I have noticed that very few of the participants are actually paying attention. Most are checking their handheld devices the entire meeting. In fact, as I look around the room, it is rare to actually have a pair of eyes meet mine. What can I do to get them to put down those phones?
A: There are a number of things you can do. First, set the tone at the beginning of the meeting by politely asking them to refrain from using their handhelds. Be sure to make it all about them. "Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me this morning. I know how busy you all are and I want to make the best use of your time. So, everyone please turn off their handheld devices. If we all focus, I know we can finish quickly and get you all back to your desks." Second, you can assign someone to collect and answer all of the phones. If it is an emergency, that individual can interrupt the meeting to retrieve the phone's owner. Third, you can stand for your presentation and wander. When you see someone texting under the table, keep speaking as you move so you are directly behind the person. Stand there for a few seconds before returning to the front of the room. These are just a few ideas to help you rethink the way you run your meetings. You might also try providing food — it gives attendees something to do with their hands other than play with their phones.
Q: I work as a receptionist at a very busy front desk. There is one frequent visitor who has rather bad breath. I know it is her even before I look up to greet her. It is quite bad, and it makes me not want to speak with her. I would hate for her to be shunned by others, but I am not sure if I can say something without embarrassing her.
A: It is impossible to offer a breath mint to anyone without them taking mild offense. Implied in the offer is a dire need! For peers, co-workers and friends, you would want to initiate a conversation. Plan a quiet time when you can speak with her. "Jane, I have noticed lately that when you come to my desk your breath is noticeable. Normally, I would not say anything because I would not want to embarrass you. But since you speak with so many people, I know I would want someone to say something to me ... especially since there are so many easy fixes."
For passing visitors, there is no way to say something. However, if you do not have one already, you should consider a bowl of wrapped mints on your reception desk.
Q: My family recently went to another family's home for dinner. That night, when we got home, my son became very ill. I am sure it was not the food since we all ate and he was the only one who got sick (at least so far!). Should I call the hostess to let her know my son is ill?
A: This is a tough call. If the hostess is a very close friend or family member, you might want to mention your son's illness just so that the parents can keep an eye on the health of their children, i.e., keeping a child home who is complaining of a stomachache instead of shuffling him off to school.
However, if this is a newer acquaintance, there may not be any percentage in sharing this news, as they have already been exposed and there is nothing they can do if they have already been infected.
¢¢¢
Jodi R.R. Smith is a nationally known etiquette expert and author. She is the president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. You are invited to e-mail her your etiquette emergencies at Salem@Mannersmith.com.
