SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

December 21, 2012

Dear Abby: Woman’s soon-to-be-ex still on her family’s guest list

:Dear Abby: My divorce from “Vince” will be final in a few weeks. We have two sons together and we communicate well. Since our breakup, my parents have continued their relationship with him. They say, “You divorced him, we didn’t.”

They have confirmed that he will be invited to all holiday events. I am so upset about it that I now want nothing to do with them. Vince has his own family who have unanimously removed me from their lives.

I’m hurt by my parents’ actions. Am I wrong? And are my feelings normal?

Lost My Parents In The Divorce In California

Dear Lost: As the father of your children, Vince will always be a part of your life, so my advice is to accept it graciously. Because Vince had a good relationship with your parents, I can understand why they would extend an invitation to the father of their grandchildren. Whether he will choose to accept is the question. His family may have declared you persona non grata because in their eyes you divorced HIM.

That said, your feelings are your feelings. Rather than say they are “wrong,” I would point out that they are unproductive at this point. As you move forward with your emotional life, I predict this will become less of an issue.

Dear Abby: I am a 50-year-old divorced man. I use an online dating service to meet women my age, but I’m extremely frustrated by the lack of courtesy.

Why is it so hard for a woman to simply write, “Thanks, but I’m not interested” after getting a note of inquiry? My photos are recent, I’m polite and I send thoughtful notes that show I have read their profiles carefully and think there’s a chance we have something in common. I admit, I’m not the handsomest man, but I hold a master’s degree and I am financially stable.

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