Is there any way of having our children addressed correctly by relatives who seem to want to ignore their real names?
New York Mommy
Dear Mommy: Before doing it your husband’s way, try this: Have another chat with the noncompliant relatives, who may come from a different generation. Explain that you gave your children hyphenated last names for a reason — that you want to be equally represented — and the omission of “your” name hurts your feelings. If that doesn’t work, then go to back to plan A because you don’t want your children to be confused.
Dear Abby: My wife and I will be married 25 years and have three children. In my family, my dad was the boss. I always was, too, but never was involved very much with the kids. My wife never really complained about it. She just wanted to keep the family together.
Now that the kids are gone, I realize I should have been a better husband. She mostly ignores me and spends her time with the kids and going places. I feel left out. She doesn’t even want to celebrate our upcoming 25th. Should we? I know my dad drank a lot, and now I find myself thinking often about how it must have been for my mom back then.
Regretting in Illinois
Dear Regretting: Ask your wife why she doesn’t think that 25 years of marriage is something to celebrate, because it should be. She may spend her time with the kids and going places because that is what she HAS been doing for all these years.
There is still time for you to mend this marriage, provided you are both willing to work on it. However, it may take the services of a marriage counselor to break the ice.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.