Dear Abby: I am the mother of a 31-year-old son, “Johann,” who is in the Navy. He just posted a picture of himself in his uniform on Facebook. I am praying it’s not his official photo, because he made an incredibly stupid face on it.
He used to do this when he was a child. Even his high school photos look like this. It is embarrassing to me! I could never show it to anyone and proudly say, “This is my son.”
Johann is an accomplished young man, a supervisor. But I can’t reconcile this picture with the man he is. What can I do?
Freaked Out In Germany
Dear Freaked Out: Your son is an adult. If he is making this expression in photographs on purpose, perhaps it’s time you asked him why. While it may be a display of immaturity on his part, it could also be that he is uncomfortable in front of a camera. (Many people are. It’s referred to as “deer-in-the-headlights” syndrome.)
Explain that you would love to have a picture of him that depicts how he REALLY is, and ask if he would be willing, as a favor to his mother, to sit for a session with a professional photographer when he comes home for a visit. If he isn’t, then perhaps he’d be more relaxed posing for a photo that YOU take.
Dear Abby: My fiancee, “Tina,” and I made a resolution to lose weight for our wedding. Everything has been going great except for one thing. Because men lose weight faster than women, I now weigh less at 6 foot 1 than she does at 5 feet 4.
Tina already has self-esteem issues. I want to look good for our wedding, but not at the cost of my fiancee’s hurt feelings. What can I do?