SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

June 17, 2013

Dear Abby: Mom up to her ears in kids wants time alone

:Dear Abby: My husband and I have five kids, all under 6 years of age. The youngest are 7-month-old twins. A family in our church has offered to watch them so my husband and I can go out on a date. We haven’t been alone together in a year. We have no family or friends nearby to offer respite.

I would like to accept their kind offer, but two things are holding me back. First, I don’t think they realize the enormity of the task, and it feels like we might be imposing.

Second, I don’t have anything to say to my husband. A date would be awkward and most likely consist of “relations.” I like my husband, but I’d rather be left alone. What would you do?

:Frazzled Mom With No Support

:Dear Frazzled: Before placing your small children in the care of others, invite the family over to see exactly how much work would be involved in watching them. Then, discuss with your husband what date night will entail and see if you can agree on what would be a fun night out.

You definitely need a break, and some alone time should be something to look forward to. That it isn’t is of concern to me. It’s possible you could benefit from marriage counseling to help re-establish a line of verbal communication. And equally important, because you suspect the evening “might” result in relations, make sure you have birth control to prevent an accidental pregnancy.

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Dear Abby: In this season of graduations and weddings, I would like to urge the honorees to send proper thank-you notes to friends and family who give them gifts and money. Time, money and preparation are put into these events, and the effect is spoiled when guests have to contact stores or scrutinize their bank statements to learn if their gifts were, indeed, received but simply not acknowledged.

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