My parents have just told me they have been approved to be foster parents and will be caring for an emotionally disturbed teenager soon. While I know I should be happy for them, I’m extremely upset. I feel they were ill-equipped to handle my emotional issues growing up, and they should be more concerned with their grandchildren in retirement than taking in strangers.
When I heard the news, I tried my best to sound supportive, but they could tell I was upset. How can I handle these feelings? Would it be beneficial to tell them how I feel?
:Mommy-To-Be In North Carolina
:Dear Mommy-To-Be: A way to handle your feelings would be to view the situation from the perspective of an adult, not a jealous child. That your parents will foster this teenager doesn’t mean they will love their grandchildren any less.
On some level, they may be trying to make up for the mistakes they made in your upbringing. Because they were ill-equipped to recognize your emotional problems does not mean they won’t be wiser now. I suggest you wait to discuss this with them until you’re feeling less resentful.
Dear Abby: I’m a 12-year-old girl trying to live a simple life. I read your column every day. I have one small question. I really wanna know why girls don’t like each other that much. Many girls at my school are really mean. I wish I knew the answer to why girls are like that. Do you know why?
:Dear Confused: Girls your age are mean to other girls for a variety of reasons. Some of them may be acting out because they are having problems at home. They may do it because they are jealous or to make themselves feel more important (a power trip).