SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

July 15, 2013

Dear Abby: Woman attracted to older men should ignore hostile comments

: Dear Abby: I have led an unusual life. I lived abroad alone in my late teens, spent my early 20s exploring the West and finished my college degree a year early while working full time. It gave me independence, experience and clarity.

My problem is, in dating I feel leagues ahead of men who are my age. I am attracted to much older men. My current boyfriend is 15 years older than I am. The age gap is often a topic of conversation among my acquaintances, co-workers and some family members. My boyfriend has also experienced unwanted comments about dating a much-younger woman.

What are your thoughts on who a person should be dating in her early 20s? And how should I deal with those who believe I am breaking a social code?

:Old Soul In Colorado

:Dear Old Soul: I can’t give you an unbiased opinion because when I was in my early 20s, I dated older men. They liked to talk, I liked to listen, and I learned a great deal about life from them. I hope the same will be true for you.

As to how you should deal with people who accuse you of breaking a social norm, unless they have a valid reason for criticizing the man you’re dating, I think you should tune them out.

:Dear Abby: I am a 26-year-old woman who is afraid of my true feelings. I have been friends with a woman who is a lesbian for seven years. I have always been attracted to women — especially her — but I have always dated men.

I have just ended a five-year relationship, and over the past few months, my friend and I have grown very close. I am starting to have feelings for her sexually. I think about her all the time. She’s beautiful, smart, inspiring and has an amazing personality.

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