SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

March 9, 2013

Dear Abby: Girl fails to measure up to her own high standards

:Dear Abby: I have a problem. Basically, I don’t like me. I am self-conscious about my weight, my face, my personality. I’m not pretty. I have heard so many times I should “just be myself” that I am sick of it! I don’t want to be myself because I don’t like myself.

All of my friends are either beautiful, witty, kind or whatever. And I am not, I guess. Please tell me what to do about it.

:Coming Up Short In Oregon

:Dear Coming Up Short: I do have a few suggestions, and the first is to stop being your own worst enemy. The more you dwell on what you think you lack, the more you will amplify those things. Find one thing you like about yourself and build from there.

Because you’re self-conscious about your weight, do something about it by adopting a healthy eating and exercise plan. While you may not be a cover girl, you can be well-groomed. More important than being “witty” is to be a good listener. Remember that, and people will think you are a great conversationalist.

The more you brood about yourself, the lonelier you will become. The more you think about helping others, the less time you will have to think about yourself.

:Dear Abby: My wife and I are in our mid-40s and have four beautiful daughters. A boy who dated one of them has become a family friend over the past few years.

“Brett” is a nice young man and has always been helpful with our family. The problem is, Brett texts and calls my wife on a daily basis. The conversation is benign, but I can tell he has a crush on her.

I have asked my wife to stop communicating with him so often, but she insists it’s “just a friendship” and nothing is going on. My point is that there IS something going on — from his side — even though she may not realize it.

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