SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

May 10, 2014

Dear Abby: Teen’s low self-esteem drags boyfriend down, too

Dear Abby: I’m 16 and I need help. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend, “Bailey,” for six months and things are complicated. She’s very insecure, and it’s hard to keep her happy for any extended period of time.

I have thought about breaking up with her because I want her to be happy, and the same goes for me. But then I think I’d rather be miserable at times and happy at others and be with her, than end it and possibly feel worse.

Please give me some advice. I love Bailey and I don’t know what to do.

Lost In Arizona

Dear Lost: Have a talk with Bailey and tell her that although you love her, her insecurity and mood swings make it difficult. If you do, it may give her something to think about. The problem with insecurity is it can eventually drive a boyfriend — or girlfriend — away when it becomes smothering.

P.S. There is truth to the saying that you can’t MAKE someone happy; happiness has to come from within.

Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I are in our 40s and have been living together for several years. The house we live in is in his name only, and he pays the mortgage.

I own a townhouse I bought before I met him, and I make the payments on it. People often ask us why I don’t sell it. I usually give some excuse, but the real reason is, when he drafted his will, he left everything to his mother — at her insistence.

He seems to think it’s too much trouble and expensive to change his will to include me. I want to be sure I have a place to live, so I have kept my townhouse.

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