:Dear Abby: I’m married to the girl of my dreams. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. We both work in the medical field. She’s an emergency room nurse, and I’m a paramedic/firefighter.
For several years, my wife worked the day shift at a hospital more than an hour away from home. I tried to persuade her to find a job closer, so we could see each other more. Finally, she told me she had been offered a night-shift position at the hospital here in town. She promised to switch to a day shift if one opened up. I thought that was great.
It has been almost a year now, and she is still working the night shift. There have been many daytime openings, but she hasn’t requested any of them. On most of my days off, I watch her sleep.
At this point, I’m not sure what to do. I am not happy and don’t want to spend the rest of my life like this. I feel like I’m missing out on so much. I have the girl of my dreams, but most of the time she IS dreaming — literally. Can you please help?
Awake and Alone in Florida
Dear Awake and Alone: You ARE missing out, on the fun and companionship that you should be enjoying with your wife. It’s time to have a frank conversation with her and find out why she has been stalling about changing shifts. There could be more wrong in your marriage than incompatible schedules, but the problems won’t be resolved unless you can be honest with each other. The current situation is unfair to you, and you are right to be concerned.
Dear Abby: My husband and I have hosted a holiday party for our neighbors every year for the last 10 years. Over time, we have invited more and more people, and we enjoy almost everyone. However, one of our neighbors, “Jim,” is very rude. For the past several years, he has taken it upon himself to invite several people to our party who he feels should be on the list. These are people we purposely did not invite.