SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

December 4, 2012

Dear Abby: She needs advice friends can’t give

(Continued)

Our problem is that again and again, our server makes a comment about our finished plates. It might be, “You were really hungry, I see!” or “Wow! You really enjoyed that!” It is uncomfortable to hear these comments about our eating habits, and it spoils our enjoyment.

This may be an attempt on their part to be friendly, but we don’t like it. How do we let them know this is crossing the boundaries of professional behavior?

Embarrassed in

Charlottesville, Va.

:Dear Embarrassed: I hope you realize that for many people, this would not be a problem. You needn’t be confrontational — all you need to calmly say is, “When you say that, it makes me uncomfortable, so please don’t do it again.” No servers want to offend a guest, and they are not mind readers. However, they are all aware that their tips depend on how their service is regarded by customers — so I’m sure your comment will be taken to heart.

Dear Abby: Is it possible for a man to be in love with two women at the same time?

Name Withheld in Virginia

Dear Name Withheld: Yes, I think so — and it is usually for different reasons. The same holds true for women. However, for a lasting relationship, people have to choose the one partner who has more of the qualities they think are most important.

---

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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