I believe she’s frustrated because I’m in therapy and she doesn’t see a reason for me to go. She thinks “if it’s not talked about, then it never happened.” I have tried to explain to her that I can’t just let go of what he did to me and my son. How can I make her understand that I’m trying to heal wounds that aren’t visible from the outside?
:Trying To Heal On The Inside
:Dear Trying To Heal: Your grandmother may come from a generation in which therapy was something to be ashamed of. A way to help her understand the importance of what you are doing would be to invite her to a session with your therapist, let her air her concerns, and let the therapist explain to her why it is important that you work this through to become healthy again. This must be very uncomfortable for you, and you have my sympathy.
Dear Abby: I’m a teenage girl living with my mom, who is a single parent, and my younger sister. We have struggled financially, but we mostly live a relatively comfortable life, and Mom owns her own home.
However, she constantly says things to me and my sister like, “We’re so poor,” or, “We’re going to live under a bridge,” even in public! We have asked her to stop several times, but she doesn’t care that we are upset and embarrassed. How can I get her to stop?
:Embarrassed In The South
Dear Embarrassed: Rather than ask her to stop, don’t you think you should approach her privately and ask why she is saying it? She may be joking, but her concerns could also be a holdover from when her financial situation was less secure. Please do it. Her response might be educational.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.