SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

September 28, 2012

Dear Abby: Husband’s rear attacks require upfront approach

:

Dear Abby: I have been married for 35 years. We have one daughter. My husband has this “thing” about grabbing other women’s behinds. He hugs them and then goes in for a grab. It bothers me so much. It hurts my feelings and I have told him so, but he still does it.

Men have told me they don’t want him touching their wives this way. Others have said it’s disrespectful to me. He says he will try to stop doing it. Try? That doesn’t set well with me.

What do you think about this? Am I overreacting? After all these years, I just don’t know what to think.

Hands Off in Rochester, N.Y.

Dear Hands Off: I agree that pinching other women’s bottoms is disrespectful (unless you’re in Italy, where it’s the norm). It appears you have spent 35 years married to an unrepentant lecher. I’d think that by now he would have trouble hugging any woman twice if she saw him with arms outstretched.

Because you can’t persuade your husband to change his ways, try this: When a man complains about your husband’s misbehavior, tell him he should deliver that message directly to your spouse. Perhaps that will get the point across.

Dear Abby: I recently married a wonderful man, and I like my in-laws very much. They’re nice, welcoming people, and we get along well. There’s just one problem: They are the biggest enablers I have ever met!

With my husband, it isn’t a big deal because he’s very self-sufficient. On the other hand, his 30-year-old brother has lived with them for three years. He is jobless and has a drinking problem. His parents don’t encourage him to look for work. They give him an allowance, pay all his court costs and drive him around because he got a DUI. They even pay his cellphone bill.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Lifestyle
  • Wednesday's Best Bets Best Bets for Wednesday, Aug. 20

    Looking for something to do this afternoon? Check out The Salem News' Best Bets.

    August 20, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dear Abby: Husband who relives past should focus on present Dear Abby: I'm married to the love of my life. I can't imagine loving a man more than I love "Wayne," and I know he feels the same about me. The problem is, he's always telling stories about things he has done, including past relationships, in graphi

    August 20, 2014

  • Dear Abby: Young man with heart scar has options for covering it up Dear Abby: You printed a letter from "Self-Conscious in Georgia" (May 15), a young man who is insecure about the scar from his heart surgery. I have had three surgeries for congenital defects, my first at 2 years old. Because many women's fashions ex

    August 19, 2014

  • Dear Abby: Angry wife resents husband for hiding news of his health Dear Abby: When my husband is sick or needs to have surgery, he refuses to tell his family and doesn't want me to. This puts me in a very awkward position. I'm damned if I do tell them because he will be upset with me, and damned if I don't because h

    August 18, 2014

  • Dear Abby: Romantics should come back to earth Dear Abby: I have been single for a couple of years. I have always been levelheaded when it comes to romance, but I'm finding myself unable to control my feelings about the new man I'm seeing. "Brent" is smart, intelligent, sweet and loving. We have

    August 16, 2014

  • North Shore religion calendar Saturday, Aug. 16 Church Yard Sale, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m., Our Lady of Fatima Church, 50 Walsh Ave., Peabody. Church-sponsored yard sale features home furnishings, clothing, children's items, furniture and more. Portuguese food will also be available. All

    August 16, 2014

  • North Shore religion news in brief The Church of the Holy Name is seeking artists and crafters to participate in the Fall Arts and Craft Fair on Saturday, Sept. 20, from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the church, located at the corner of Monument Avenue and Thomas Road in Swampscott. A limited a

    August 16, 2014

  • This weekend's Best Bets Best Bets for Saturday, Aug. 16 and Sunday, Aug. 17

    Looking for something to do this weekend? Check out The Salem News' Best Bets.

    August 16, 2014 1 Photo

  • North Shore Gardener: Toad in your garden? That’s a good thing Q: There are several large toads -- some as big as a fist -- that live around the hosta on the shady side of my garden. They seem to especially like to be near the faucet, which sometimes leaks! Are they doing any harm? My small dog got one in his mo

    August 15, 2014

  • Dr. Kate's Parent Rap: Mission statement can help with co-parenting troubles More often than not, when I speak with parents today, they describe struggles with their children that originate in parenting conflicts. Parents often disagree when making daily decisions, and yet, they are steadfast in their beliefs that they share

    August 15, 2014

NDN Video
Comments Tracker