What is my place in all of this? Should I say anything? My fear is that when my husband’s parents die, his brother will become OUR problem.
Looking Ahead in Colorado
Dear Looking Ahead: Don’t say anything to your husband’s parents. The pattern they are following is one that was set long ago, and nothing you can say will change it. It may, however, cause serious hard feelings.
The person you should talk to is your husband, so that well in advance of his parents’ demise, you will be in agreement about his brother finally taking responsibility for himself or suffering the consequences of his actions.
Dear Abby: I love my co-workers, but several of them have an aggravating habit of walking into my office, uninvited, while I’m eating lunch at my desk. They then proceed to tell me their latest news, joke or war story.
Abby, those of us who eat at our desks do it so we can keep working and be ready to respond to work-related contacts as they come in, NOT to socialize. Besides, isn’t it just as rude to interrupt someone while they’re eating as it is while they’re talking? I wish my beloved co-workers would save it for the water cooler.
“Sandwiched” in San Diego
Dear Sandwiched: I don’t think it’s rude. But because YOU do, it’s up to you to tell your well-meaning co-workers that when you’re working at your desk, you’d prefer not to be interrupted because it breaks your concentration. If you speak up nicely, I’m sure they won’t love you any less, and then you will love them even more.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.