Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married for one year. Yesterday I put all the pieces together and realized he’s been cheating on me.
I called the other woman, and after she regained her composure and heard she is a mistress, she told me everything. She gave me the answers I desperately needed, and I am thankful for her honesty and — surprisingly — her compassion.
Now I need to move forward. I am crushed, and even though he can’t explain why he cheated, I still want to know why. He says he’s going to counseling, which is something I have been begging him to do since I had a miscarriage last summer.
Will he change? Or should I continue to pack the house and move on?
:Crushed In Chicago
:Dear Crushed: Much depends upon the reason your husband started cheating. If it was a way to avoid experiencing the pain of the loss of the baby, it’s possible that with counseling the two of you can get beyond this.
I suggest you ask to be included in one or more of the counseling sessions. If he agrees, at least you will know he is seeing a therapist. If not, you will have to decide whether you have had enough loss in one year to last you a lifetime, and whether you still have a future together.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.