SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

November 3, 2012

Military mom's insults make daughter yearn for civility

:Dear Abby: I’m 14 and my dad is in the military, so he’s away from home most of the time. I try to help Mom out as best I can, knowing she’s stressed with Dad gone.

Whenever she gets mad at me, she calls me a “brat,” “selfish” or a “jerk.” She even told me once or twice that if she was my age, she wouldn’t want to be my friend because of the way I act.

Abby, please help me. I have always tried my hardest to do what’s right. How do I handle this without crying myself to sleep?

Feels Like A Failure

Dear Feels Like A Failure: Sometimes when people are under stress, as your mother is right now, they say things they don’t mean. And sometimes when teens are under stress, they can act out in other ways.

A way to handle this would be to wait until your mother has calmed down and talk to her about the effect that her name-calling is having on you. Explain that you’re trying the hardest you can in a difficult situation, and then both of you should apologize to each other. The bruises that unkind words can leave sometimes outlast those that are physical.

Dear Abby: My best friend, “Kathie,” has betrayed me. This may sound silly, but my husband and I have a sort of “coat of arms.” Ever since we started writing letters and notes back and forth, he has always drawn a character on them, and it turned into “our” symbol.

Kathie is in the armed forces and I made her my maid of honor. But when she showed up, she had that same character tattooed on her back! My husband was upset she chose something so intimate of ours as a tattoo, and a few people have noticed it as well. I don’t know how to handle this. It feels like a slap in the face.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Lifestyle
  • Dear Abby: Husband who relives past should focus on present Dear Abby: I'm married to the love of my life. I can't imagine loving a man more than I love "Wayne," and I know he feels the same about me. The problem is, he's always telling stories about things he has done, including past relationships, in graphi

    August 20, 2014

  • Dear Abby: Young man with heart scar has options for covering it up Dear Abby: You printed a letter from "Self-Conscious in Georgia" (May 15), a young man who is insecure about the scar from his heart surgery. I have had three surgeries for congenital defects, my first at 2 years old. Because many women's fashions ex

    August 19, 2014

  • Dear Abby: Angry wife resents husband for hiding news of his health Dear Abby: When my husband is sick or needs to have surgery, he refuses to tell his family and doesn't want me to. This puts me in a very awkward position. I'm damned if I do tell them because he will be upset with me, and damned if I don't because h

    August 18, 2014

  • Dear Abby: Romantics should come back to earth Dear Abby: I have been single for a couple of years. I have always been levelheaded when it comes to romance, but I'm finding myself unable to control my feelings about the new man I'm seeing. "Brent" is smart, intelligent, sweet and loving. We have

    August 16, 2014

  • North Shore religion calendar Saturday, Aug. 16 Church Yard Sale, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m., Our Lady of Fatima Church, 50 Walsh Ave., Peabody. Church-sponsored yard sale features home furnishings, clothing, children's items, furniture and more. Portuguese food will also be available. All

    August 16, 2014

  • North Shore religion news in brief The Church of the Holy Name is seeking artists and crafters to participate in the Fall Arts and Craft Fair on Saturday, Sept. 20, from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the church, located at the corner of Monument Avenue and Thomas Road in Swampscott. A limited a

    August 16, 2014

  • This weekend's Best Bets Best Bets for Saturday, Aug. 16 and Sunday, Aug. 17

    Looking for something to do this weekend? Check out The Salem News' Best Bets.

    August 16, 2014 1 Photo

  • North Shore Gardener: Toad in your garden? That’s a good thing Q: There are several large toads -- some as big as a fist -- that live around the hosta on the shady side of my garden. They seem to especially like to be near the faucet, which sometimes leaks! Are they doing any harm? My small dog got one in his mo

    August 15, 2014

  • Dr. Kate's Parent Rap: Mission statement can help with co-parenting troubles More often than not, when I speak with parents today, they describe struggles with their children that originate in parenting conflicts. Parents often disagree when making daily decisions, and yet, they are steadfast in their beliefs that they share

    August 15, 2014

  • 0709_sn_out_tinticolor.jpg Salem native Hannah Tinti returns for Community Read The author of "The Good Thief" thinks her novel is a good choice for Salem's Community Read event next week. "It's something that appeals to adult readers and also younger readers," said Salem native Hannah Tinti. "It's sort of a crossover book. It w

    August 15, 2014 1 Photo

NDN Video
Comments Tracker