:Dear Abby: I’m 14 and my dad is in the military, so he’s away from home most of the time. I try to help Mom out as best I can, knowing she’s stressed with Dad gone.
Whenever she gets mad at me, she calls me a “brat,” “selfish” or a “jerk.” She even told me once or twice that if she was my age, she wouldn’t want to be my friend because of the way I act.
Abby, please help me. I have always tried my hardest to do what’s right. How do I handle this without crying myself to sleep?
Feels Like A Failure
Dear Feels Like A Failure: Sometimes when people are under stress, as your mother is right now, they say things they don’t mean. And sometimes when teens are under stress, they can act out in other ways.
A way to handle this would be to wait until your mother has calmed down and talk to her about the effect that her name-calling is having on you. Explain that you’re trying the hardest you can in a difficult situation, and then both of you should apologize to each other. The bruises that unkind words can leave sometimes outlast those that are physical.
Dear Abby: My best friend, “Kathie,” has betrayed me. This may sound silly, but my husband and I have a sort of “coat of arms.” Ever since we started writing letters and notes back and forth, he has always drawn a character on them, and it turned into “our” symbol.
Kathie is in the armed forces and I made her my maid of honor. But when she showed up, she had that same character tattooed on her back! My husband was upset she chose something so intimate of ours as a tattoo, and a few people have noticed it as well. I don’t know how to handle this. It feels like a slap in the face.