Overcome in Glen Burnie, Md.
Dear Overcome: I’m sorry for the loss of your friend. While it is normal to feel angry about the suicide, you also need to find some compassion. Individuals who decide to end their lives do so for various reasons to stop overwhelming emotional pain, because of mental illness, to punish someone, because of an incurable illness, and sometimes out of impulse.
Whatever your friend’s reason was, please do not take it out on the grieving family and friends. They are dealing with enough of their own mixed emotions right now. If you feel you can’t control your emotions, stay away until you can.
Dear Abby: My husband is in a nursing home for long-term care. The holidays will soon be here. How do I sign the holiday cards? Should I include my husband’s name? My son is living with me. Do I include his name, too?
Getting Ready in New England
Dear Getting Ready: It is perfectly acceptable to include all three names on your holiday cards. (Send them out early, because the post office is sure to be especially busy in December.)
Dear Abby: I was wondering what families should do with old pictures if someone in their family is transgender.
Andy in Ohio
Dear Andy: They should ask their transgendered relative what he or she would like done with the pictures and take their lead from the person’s wishes.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.