Needs Guidance in California
Dear Needs Guidance: Your mother appears to be a bitter, possibly disturbed woman. If she isn’t invited, the hurt and angry feelings could reverberate for years. Because the rest of your family knows the way she is, consider inviting her on the condition that she will be on her best behavior AND with the understanding that if she “lapses,” some family members will escort her out.
Dear Abby: My husband has met my co-workers and their spouses at various company-related events. He recently mentioned that he has seen “Wally,” who is married to one of my co-workers, “Anna,” with another woman on more than one occasion. Apparently, Wally didn’t recognize my husband.
Should I “casually” mention to Anna that my husband saw her husband and where, and let her figure it out for herself? My husband said it’s up to me to decide whether to tell her or not. If it were me, I’d want to know.
Older but not Wiser
@text1_boldintro\::Dear O.B.N.W.: I suppose you could casually mention it to Anna, but don’t be surprised if she casually responds that the woman is his sister, his cousin or a daughter by a former marriage. It may be perfectly innocent.
Dear Abby: My friend left a plant for me to take care of while she was out of town. The plant died. Do I replace the plant?
No Green Thumb
in Lubbock, Texas
@text1_boldintro\::Dear No Green Thumb: If the plant was thriving when your friend asked you to care for it, and it died because of lack of sun or water while in your care, then the answer is yes, you should at least offer to replace it. For your sake, I hope it wasn’t a rare orchid.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.