, Salem, MA


September 9, 2013

Dear Abby: Family’s ailing nanny should be given the chance to heal


Nine months ago, my husband and I were blessed with the birth of our beautiful baby girl. I feel I must protect her from my parents and my father in particular. Some of my family agree with my decision; others disagree because I am my parents’ only child. Am I wrong for not wanting my father and possibly my mother any longer in my life?

:Tough Love In Florida

:Dear Tough Love: No. And as for the reaction of your relatives, remember that you can’t please everyone, and the well-being of your child must come first.

:Dear Abby: How do I keep a co-worker from borrowing money from me? I have my paycheck direct-deposited, which means the money is available a day earlier than “Anita’s.”

She asked me yesterday if I would lend her money for cigarettes, and I told her I didn’t have any cash on me. When I went on break to buy lunch with my ATM card, Anita came waltzing over and immediately told the cashier to ring up the cigarettes on my ATM card! She said she’d pay me back more than the amount charged to my card.

In the future, how can I handle this if it happens again? I needed the money for my own use, and now I must wait until next week for her to pay me back.

:Buck Stops Here In Massachusetts

:Dear Buck: One way to handle it would be to be proactive and tell Anita that what she did was rude and you didn’t like it. Another would be to inform the cashier that what Anita wanted was NOT OK with you, and to never do it again. Whichever you decide, don’t be afraid of hurting Anita’s feelings because she has a hide of steel.


Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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